I got this funny recruiting email the other day (specifics redacted to save recruiter embarrassment):
Kurt
I am a Staffing Consultant with a company called [company] and I have been able to make contact with you through the Internet research techniques. I’m contacting you to see if you might be interested in hearing about a search I’m conducting.
[company] ([website]) is a start-up in the heart of San Francisco with an open and flat-structured environment that is revolutionizing how the world deals with [niche market] through sophisticated parametric modeling that can be used in any industry. Essentially, we have no competition in this domain, but we do have backing from some of the top venture capitalists in the world. In fact, this link will provide with insight to our latest round of funding. [link].
We’re looking for Quantitative Thinkers who are interested in working with Big Data and the Cloud to tackle hard problems such as building probabilistic [something] models, pricing exotic financial products, and estimating probabilities of extreme [something else] events.
If you enjoy thinking outside the bell curve, thought (even if only briefly) that you could win the Netflix Prize, and are familiar with names like Poisson, Cholesky, Markov and Kolmogorov, we have an opportunity that is worth investigating.
Look forward to hearing from you!
Best Regards,
[name]
Staffing Consultant
[company]
[email]
[phone]
In all the recruiting emails I’ve received, I’ve had some people slightly misspell my name, but never as badly as “Kurt.” How is that even close? And I love how he said he was “able to make contact with you through the Internet research techniques,” as if he’s a time traveler from the 1800s or something.