I have fallen so far behind in posting recipes for the things I bake that it’s now been a full year since I made this spiderweb pumpkin tart. But what perfect timing, since it’s Halloween again!
Pie crust is just something that I don’t do, for lack of equipment and courage, but tart crust is something I can fake. So a pumpkin tart seemed like just the thing for me to make for Halloween. And what better way to make it Halloween-themed than a spiderweb pattern on top?
But what evil mind would have thought to put a spiderweb on top of food? Hmm…
Jason was doing his annual Halloween cooking. Every year, he had a feast of epic proportions. Bat wings (chicken wings smothered in squid ink sauce), eyeballs (meatballs with olive slices), bloody fingers (breadsticks with marinara sauce),… the list went on with his creepy concoctions. His one Achilles’ heel, though, was dessert. Despite the array of savory delights he always made, his dessert course was always lacking. This year, though, he resolved to not let dessert be the weakest link in his Halloween buffet.
A trip to the supermarket was supposed to give him inspiration. He roamed the aisles, picking up ingredients, hoping for that bolt of creativity to stoke his dessert imagination. He picked up some cans of pumpkin because, after all, it was Halloween, and pumpkin was very appropriate. But there was nothing coming to him. Pumpkin pie? Too boring. Pumpkin cheesecake? So heavy.
Dejected, Jason dragged home his cans of pumpkin, puttering around in the kitchen, waiting for some miracle to arrive. Just as he was in the depths of despair over his lack of creativity surrounding the sweet part of his meal, the doorbell rang.
He opened the door to find Jamie, his neighbor. “Hi Jason!” she said cheerfully. She was always so cheerful, even in this dreary weather. Jason really liked that about her. And how her breasts always seemed to be perky. But he couldn’t let his eyes wander too far below her face.
“Hi Jamie,” replied Jason, his mood instantly lifted by his neighbor’s presence. “What’s up?”
“Oh, I was hoping I could get some sugar from you. I know, I could just go to the store and buy some, but all I need is a cup. Would you mind?”
“Of course not, come on in,” Jason said, maybe a little too enthusiastically. He led her to the kitchen, where he promptly pulled out a Ziploc bag and deposited a cup of sugar into it.
“Thank you so much Jason, you’re a lifesaver!” she said with the same cheerfulness she had been maintaining for the past couple of minutes. “So what are you up to?”
Jason unloaded his dessert difficulties onto Jamie. He was incredibly animated when describing his bat wings, his eyeballs, but then when it came to dessert, the cloud over his head was palpable.
“What about a tart?” asked Jamie, after Jason had said pumpkin pie was too boring. “A tart’s sort of like a pie, but it’s a little different, and people love the shortbread crust that goes with it!”
There’s an idea, Jason thought, getting more excited about it by the second. “Thank you so much Jamie, I think that’s a great idea!”
Jamie sat down on Jason’s couch with the bag of sugar, tired from a long day of running errands and baking. She enjoyed this break in her day, hanging out on the couch and just chatting with her neighbor. Her very cute and very single neighbor, she couldn’t help but think.
They talked about their childhoods, their jobs, their parents’ dogs, and before they knew it, they were sitting on the same couch cushion, their hands gently touching each other’s legs as the sun set outside, casting long shadows across their faces. There had been nothing romantic between them before today, but somehow, today was different.
Jason leaned in for a kiss, and Jamie made absolutely no attempt to resist. Her lips met his, his lips gently suctioning her upper lip. She could feel a bit of stubble on his upper lip, which Jamie found strangely attractive. She pushed back on his lips with hers, slowly inserting her tongue into his mouth, meeting his tongue somewhere in that moist cavity.
He ran his fingers through her hair, tousling it a bit, and he saw her in a totally different, vulnerable light. His eyes stared deep into hers, as Jamie found herself slowly melting a bit, the cheerful exterior dissolving into a more sensual, serious demeanor. Their tongues explored deeper depths, and their shirts came off hastily, like they had been covered in mud and needed to be taken off immediately.
Their hands explored each other’s upper bodies, fingers gently circling nipples as moans erupted from their mouths. Tongues darted toward breasts, fingers unzipped pants, and soon they were down to their underwear, a tent in Jason’s and a wet spot in Jamie’s. They both reached under the other’s elastic, their hands going into forbidden regions of pleasure.
They couldn’t resist being clothed any longer, and they both became completely naked, their flesh pressed against each other. His penis was throbbing, her vagina leaking with anticipation. The inevitable penetration occurred, and they moaned simultaneously as they started their thrusting. Like pistons in an engine, they gyrated in unison, their tempo increasing steadily as the feelings of ecstasy built up in their nether regions.
Jason started thrusting with the urgency of a man trapped in a car sinking to the bottom of a lake, and he threw his head back into the air in a display of pure euphoria. Jamie’s moans grew increasingly louder, sounding more primal by the second. The moment had come, and there was no turning back. The dam burst, and Jason unleashed a torrent into Jamie’s sex. The forceful spurts inside of her set off a chain reaction, as the feelings overwhelmed her groin and warmed her entire body, the tips of her fingers and toes tingling with delight.
They both lay on the couch, exhausted from their activity. As Jason lay face up, eyes half-open as if he had just reached an oasis after walking for hours through the desert, he saw a spiderweb in the corner of the ceiling. I need to clean that up, he muttered to himself, though he was still adrift in orgasmic jubilation.
Suddenly, it hit him. He could draw a spiderweb on top of the pumpkin tart that Jamie had suggested. Chocolate would make a nice, deep brown color that would go beautifully with the bright orange from the pumpkin.
Jason smiled, knowing that this year, finally, he had a good chance of breaking the curse of dessert.
Well, hopefully you’re not baking this where there are real spiderwebs. I know I didn’t. As far as I know, anyway.
I got this recipe from Baking Bites. Though I used the tart crust I’m familiar with, and mine doesn’t look nearly as nice.
Spiderweb Pumpkin Tart
Crust
1 cup flour
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
Filling
1 1/2 cups (15 ounces) pumpkin puree
1/2 cup milk
2/3 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 tablespoon cocoa powder
- Preheat oven to 350F.
- Mix together the flour, packed brown sugar, and softened butter for the crust, and press it into a 9- or 10-inch tart pan.
- Put the tart pan and dough into the fridge.
- Mix together the pumpkin puree, milk, sugar, eggs, vanilla, pumpkin pie spice, and salt until smooth.
- Take 1/4 cup of this batter and mix it with the 1 1/2 tablespoon of cocoa powder until it makes a smooth brown paste.
- Pour the remaining pumpkin batter into the chilled tart shell.
- Put the cocoa powder mixture into a piping bag, and pipe a spiral or concentric circle on top of the pumpkin batter.
- Take a toothpick and drag it from the center to the outside along several lines to create a spiderweb pattern.
- Bake for 45-50 minutes until the filling is set and a knife inserted into the pumpkin comes out clean.
The tart crust, pressed into the tart pan.
The batter, with its nice orange color.
A bit of the batter mixed with cocoa powder, for the spiderweb.
The batter goes into the tart shell.
My attempt at the spiderweb. The strands of cocoa batter kept breaking up, so I didn’t get a nice smooth spiderweb like on the original website.
After baking, the spiderweb looks even worse.
The surface cracked a bit.
This tart was good, it was like pumpkin pie, but a bit richer, and the tart crust is also denser than pie crust. I think with more practice, the spiderweb will come out more… spiderweb-like.