It seems that you can find egg tarts in every Chinese bakery worth its salt. The center, a rich, sweet egg custard, surrounded by a flaky crust. When you bite into one, the sweet, custardy interior hits your mouth right before your teeth sink into the layers of flaky pastry underneath.
But why is it that you hardly ever see these made at home? Maybe I just don’t know the right home bakers. Maybe the puff pastry is just too hard to deal with at home. Using a shortcrust pastry is an option, one that perhaps may have been used as an easier alternative at home…
Kevin collected his bottles of liquor and stuffed them into his reusable grocery bag. It was Saturday night, and he was in a foul mood. His friends had ditched him, once again going to the club, a place he loathed because of all the loud music and sweaty bodies and general superficiality. The cashier was friendly enough, but he didn’t card him. A 30-year-old Chinese man, not carded for liquor? He must be showing his age. On top of all this, his mother had just called him earlier in the day, asking him yet again when he would find a nice girl to marry. And once again, he answered that he just hadn’t found the right girl. This was very much true, as Kevin’s friends knew him as one of the pickiest people around.
He dragged his bag of liquor bottles home with him, but, as heavy as they were, his loneliness and frustration weighed him down even more. As he climbed up the stairs and into his apartment, it was all he could do to stop himself from punching a hole in the wall out of desperation. The new bottle of bourbon beckoned to him, and he quickly fashioned himself a Manhattan. That magical combination of bourbon, vermouth, bitters, and cherry was just what he needed on a night like this, a night he had nobody to share with other than his couch and his TV. As he plopped down on his plush couch, large cocktail in hand, the doorbell rang.
Who could that be at this hour, he muttered to himself, as he walked over to the door. He glanced through the peephole to find a young Asian woman there, looking lost and a bit sad. She’s not going to be a robber or a serial killer, he told himself, as he unconsciously straightened up his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair before opening the door.
“Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you, but I locked myself out of my apartment, and my roommate’s out of town this weekend. Would you mind if I came in and used your phone?” Her voice was as cute as her face. And the rest of her body was definitely easy on the eyes.
Who was Kevin to turn down such an attractive Asian girl? “Sure, come on in,” he said, as he mustered a smile, sensing an oasis in the middle of the dreary desert of an evening he was having. Her name was Jennifer, and she had just moved in next door about a month ago. He handed her his cell phone, briefly thinking to himself, why doesn’t she have her own cell?
She made some calls, but, alas, the super was unreachable, and she would be locked out of the apartment until her roommate returned home tomorrow. Why doesn’t she just stay over on his couch, he offered.
Jennifer hesitated. After all, she had known this young man, as friendly as he was, for a matter of minutes. And now she was staying over on his couch? But really, they lived in the same apartment building, right next to each other. What were the odds that she lived right next to a serial killer, and a nice-looking Asian one at that? She accepted his offer.
Kevin noticed that she had a small bag with her and asked what was in it. “Oh this? I just went to the Asian bakery on the way home. Chinese girls, you know…” she said with a smile, as Kevin recorded the fact that she was also Chinese in his ever-lengthening mental list of facts about his new visitor. “Do you want a pastry? I got a custard bun and a taro bun. I really love egg tarts but they were out! So sad…” Her voice trailed off as she stared forlornly at his kitchen. He could sense that she really loved her egg tarts.
“How about we make some egg tarts then?” Kevin asked, both wanting to make her happy and to have something to do together.
“Really? You can make egg tarts at home?” Jennifer’s eyes opened wide, as if she had just seen the most beautiful sunset right in front of her.
“Well, I’ve never actually done it,” Kevin said, Jennifer’s face turning quickly into one of disappointment. “But I’m a pretty good baker, and we can try making some!”
He hated puff pastry, because it was impossible to make at home, and it was so expensive to buy. But would a shortcrust pastry work? He wanted to give it a shot. He mixed together butter, sugar, flour, and some eggs, making a nice, rich crust. “You’re so handy in the kitchen!” Jennifer exclaimed with delight, thoughts of egg tarts occupying her mind.
Kevin whipped out his trusty mini-muffin tin, and he divided the dough evenly between the twenty-four cups. He then set out to make the custard: eggs, sugar, vanilla, and some milk. He whisked it all together until it was smooth and poured it into the dough cups he had made in his muffin tin. “This looks so wonderful!” Jennifer said, her smile widening by the second. He carefully slid the tray with the custard-filled dough cups into the oven and set the timer.
“Can I make you a drink while we wait?” Kevin offered, ever the gentleman. But, let’s be honest, he just wanted to get into her pants, just like most other guys.
“Sure! What are you drinking?” Jennifer asked, oblivious to the ulterior motives that Kevin had in his offer, as she was blinded by his sweet smile.
“I’m having a Manhattan, do you like those?” Kevin asked, staring deeply into her pretty brown eyes, her beautiful smile that an artist would die to paint.
“I do, actually! But can you make mine with a lot of cherry juice?”
Kevin quickly fashioned another Manhattan, this time adding a lot of cherry juice from the jar. “Here you go,” he said, handing her his handcrafted cocktail.
Jennifer took a sip. “Oh wow this is really good! If your egg tarts are even half as good, I might have to marry you!”
Kevin blushed fifty shades of red. He quickly turned away, hoping she didn’t notice, but it was clear that there was now sexual tension between them, hanging in the air above them like heavy fog in San Francisco.
The timer went off, saving Kevin from any more embarrassment, and he quickly donned his oven mitt and retrieved the muffin tin. The egg tarts had baked beautifully, the crusts now a golden brown, the filling puffed up. Jennifer could hardly contain her excitement. She was bursting with delight, an explosion of exuberance speeding straight toward the tarts.
“Be careful!” said Kevin, noticing that she almost touched the red-hot muffin tin.
“Sorry I can’t help myself!” she giggled, as she stepped back. “I’ll work on my drink while I let these cool.”
Now why can’t her eyes be fixed on me instead of those damn tarts, Kevin thought, as she admired the bouncy girl hovering over his improvised egg tarts. They chitchatted about their lives, where they’re from, he’s an engineer at a startup like everyone else around, she’s in marketing for a tech company like everyone else who’s not an engineer, he wants to settle down and start a family, she’s looking for the same after a recent string of bad breakups, and soon it had been enough time for the tarts to cool.
They both took an egg tart out of the muffin tin. Kevin watched as Jennifer took a bite out of one. She closed her pretty eyes to savor the moment, and right when she bit into it, he could have sworn he heard her moan a little. She chewed the egg tart so carefully and delicately that her slim mouth barely moved. Kevin’s mouth started hanging open at the sight when she opened her eyes and said in a voice that was almost too loud, “Kevin! This is so wonderful! I can’t believe you can bake like this!”
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the delicious egg tarts, but Jennifer suddenly found herself lunging toward Kevin, her lips making a beeline for his. Their lips interlocked, they made their way over to the couch and started furiously making out, as if the world were going to end tomorrow and this would be their last chance for human affection. Their tongues went deep into each other’s mouths, reaching all the way back to their throats. Their mouths were as intertwined as two mouths could possibly be while still obeying the laws of physics.
Jennifer reached up and pulled off Kevin’s shirt, after which she immediately went for his right nipple, sucking it up into the vacuum of her mouth. He moaned involuntarily and then reached over to lift off Jennifer’s shirt as well. With a deft flick of his right thumb and forefinger, he undid her bra, revealing a pair of perky breasts that were just the right size. He rubbed his hands all over them, sucking on her left nipple while plunging his hand down the front of her pants. The moisture down there was palpable, and he quickly unbuckled her belt and unbuttoned the button on her jeans. His fingers explored the inside of her panties, brushing against her clitoris, which elicited several moans from Jennifer, her fluids flowing more freely now.
But now it was her turn to do the pleasuring. She unbuckled his belt and slid his jeans down, revealing a tent in his boxers that he could not conceal. She grabbed his member through the fabric and heard a grunt from him. She could see a small wet spot near the tip of his penis, and she yanked down his underwear, causing his erection to spring up after being freed. Jennifer grabbed it and started stroking, eliciting more moaning from Kevin. He reciprocated, yanking down her jeans and panties, and slid his right forefinger into her vagina. Her toes curled with pleasure, and more of her fluids found their way onto Kevin’s finger.
Their kissing had turned into throat exploration, and it was all they could do to keep themselves from ripping the skin off of each other. Kevin grabbed a condom from a nearby drawer and quickly put it on himself, plunging his covered cock straight into her awaiting vagina. They moaned simultaneously as penetration occurred, which was followed by urgent thrusting. Their tongues continued to explore each other’s mouths, and the thrusting increased in intensity.
Their moaning had reached a crescendo, their rhythm now so fast that they could hardly keep up. They had both reached the point of no return. Jennifer went first, as she let out a primal scream. She felt like she was flying, flying out of her body, off the couch, straight into the air and showered by a bombardment of starlight. Mere seconds later, Kevin was ready to release, as he let out what an observer might call a yell, releasing his fluids into the condom with so much force that neither would have been surprised if it had punctured it. He withdrew his member from her sex, and they both collapsed on the couch, naked and intertwined.
The power of egg tarts is amazing.
OK, so perhaps that’s not really the origin of shortcrust egg tarts. I mean, it was probably carefully thought out in a kitchen or something. But here’s a recipe I found on allrecipes.com. I didn’t have evaporated milk, so I substituted some regular milk instead, and I think it worked out fine.
Egg Tarts
Crust
1 cup powdered sugar
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1 egg, beaten
1 dash vanilla extract
Custard
2/3 cup white sugar
1 1/2 cups water
9 eggs, beaten
1 dash vanilla extract
1 cup evaporated milk (or just regular milk)
- In a bowl, mix together the powdered sugar and flour.
- Mix the butter into the sugar and flour mixture until the mixture is in small crumbs.
- Stir in the egg and vanilla until it forms a slightly moist dough.
- Form the dough into 1 1/2-inch balls, and press the balls into a mini-muffin tin or into egg tart molds, covering the bottom of each mold.
- Preheat the oven to 450F.
- Mix together the white sugar and water for the custard in a medium saucepan.
- Bring the mixture to a boil, and cook the mixture until the sugar is dissolved.
- Remove from heat, and let it cool to room temperature.
- Strain the nine beaten eggs through a sieve and whisk into the sugar-water mixture.
- Stir in the evaporated milk and vanilla.
- Pour the mixture into the tart shells.
- Bake the tarts for 15 to 20 minutes, until golden brown and the filling is a bit puffy.
The crust, with powdered sugar, flour, butter, egg, and vanilla.
The dough, divided amongst 24 mini-muffin cups. They ended up quite thick.
The filling, made with sugar, water, eggs, vanilla, and milk.
The filling, poured into the mini-muffin cups.
After 20 minutes in the oven, they’re done.
They managed to hold their shape even outside the muffin tin.
The shells were quite thick, and I had some filling left over, which I baked in some ramekins. Next time, I’ll have to make the shells thinner and make more egg tarts.
The egg tarts with the shortcrust pastry were not anywhere near as good as the ones from the bakery with the puff pastry, but they were much easier to make, I’m sure.