Back in the 1990s, there was this little hit by Meat Loaf:
He keeps saying “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” But did you ever wonder what he means by “that”? I sure did.
I don’t think Meat Loaf ever actually says what it is that he won’t do for love. He would do absolutely anything in the world for love, except this one thing, and he won’t tell us? Well, then, it must be some allusion to sex. Otherwise, if it were, say, clubbing baby seals, or sacrificing goats, he would just come right out and say it, right? Therefore it must be sexual.
But it can’t just be ordinary sex. Assuming he’s just like most other guys, he’d have ordinary sex for love. Even for something way short of love, he’d probably have sex. So what would he not do sexually, even for love?
Well, like many straight men, he probably has an aversion to anal sex. Despite the fact that the male G-Spot can only be reached through the anus, many men don’t want something shoved up their butt. Because it’s associated with gay sex. Or because it seems uncomfortable. Or at least it seems like it would be to me. And Meat Loaf is probably one of those men who has never tried anal sex and is afraid of it. So that is the one thing he won’t do for love.
But really, would anal sex be the worst thing in the world? Just imagine your girlfriend or wife, gently inserting a dildo or similar device into your anus, the tip of the device contacting your G-Spot, reaching previously uncharted territory. The novelty and excitement of it sends waves of pleasure throughout your body, sending you into convulsions of ecstasy that you thought were beyond the limits of what humans were capable of.
Now imagine your girlfriend or wife throwing her feces on you. Isn’t that way worse? I think it is. So the thing he won’t do might be a Dirty Sanchez.
Gosh was that too explicit? Well, Meat Loaf, maybe if you were more explicit in your lyrics, I wouldn’t have to be so explicit when guessing what you mean.