Peanut butter often brings to mind jelly, as they’re inextricably linked in the classic American sandwich. Or perhaps you think of celery, slathering it onto the hard green stalks as a condiment to make that bitter vegetable taste more palatable.
But peanut butter can fly solo, too. In a cookie, even. But who would have thought of such a thing to begin with, to tear apart the marriage of peanut butter and jelly and put the nuttier half in a cookie? And why do peanut butter cookies always have those fork marks on them?
Sally started preparing lunch for the kids. At thirteen and ten, they were just at that age where it was uncool to bring your lunch to school, but with work hard to come by and her deadbeat husband Ed out of the picture, money was tight, and she just couldn’t afford to have her kids buy lunch at the school cafeteria. And so she dutifully packed them their lunches, sacrificing their social status for financial security.
After she had finished making their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and packed them into their bags, she said goodbye as they were picked up by their carpool, and once again Sally found herself alone at home. She enjoyed the quiet time during the day when she had the house to herself, and yet she longed for the company of a man, someone who could make her life complete in a way that Ed never could.
The sink was acting up again. She called the plumber, who said that he’d be there very soon. Sally had just used up the last of her jelly in making the kids’ sandwiches that morning. But the giant jar of peanut butter was still half full. What ever would she do with it?
When Sally was married, her husband enjoyed her chocolate chip cookies. Despite his emotional absence and his oddly cold and detached demeanor during sex, she still really enjoyed being able to make him happy in that small way, when she handed him a warm chocolate chip cookie straight from the oven.
With that memory in her mind, she knew just the way to use up her peanut butter and lift her out of the doldrums. She could make peanut butter cookies! All the memories of making her ex-husband happy, minus the cold sex.
She went about mixing the dough. Flour, baking powder, salt, butter, vanilla, sugar, egg, and of course, peanut butter. The peanut butter gave the dough a nice, rich texture that she could almost taste before the cookies had even baked. She rolled little balls of dough and placed them on the baking sheet. They seemed a bit too tall, though. Looking around the kitchen, she grabbed a fork because it was the closest utensil to her, and she pressed down on each cookie, creating a crosshatch design on the tops.
Right when she popped them in the oven, the door rang. She closed the oven door and opened the front one, letting the plumber in to fix her broken sink. He was a handsome man, younger than she was expecting. None of the dirtiness that she had stereotypically associated with plumbers; here was a nice, well-kept man who would fit right in at her children’s school’s PTA meeting.
His name was Andrew, and he lived not too far away. He in fact had two kids of his own, sharing joint custody with his ex-wife. Sally was intrigued by this man. He deftly whipped out a wrench from his very neat tool belt, and seemingly within seconds, the sink was fixed. Sally nearly gasped with delight.
Just as her almost-gasp came out, the kitchen timer went off. She grabbed an oven mitt and pulled out the peanut butter cookies. They were golden brown and smelled wonderful, the rich aroma of butter and sugar combined with the unmistakably nutty peanut butter smell.
“What is that?” Andrew asked, intrigued. Sally eagerly offered him a cookie, which he practically inhaled. His eyes lit up like a slot machine paying out a jackpot. Sensing his excitement somehow caused Sally to get a bit excited herself, and she felt moisture between her legs that she hadn’t felt in years.
She offered him a glass of milk, and he didn’t hesitate to agree. His next appointment was over an hour away, so they enjoyed their peanut butter cookies and milk together. They drifted over to the couch, where they talked about their kids, their crazy ex-spouses, the origins of the universe, why the ketchup never came out of the bottle, until they found themselves right next to each other, their faces only inches apart.
Their lips smacked together like a magnet and a hunk of metal, and Sally and Andrew soon found themselves in a horizontal position, making out like the teenagers their kids would soon be. Hands explored underneath shirts, fingers stroked crucial spots, and soon arms were lifting garments off of shoulders.
Their bare chests rubbed against each other, their tongues continuing to explore each other’s mouths. Belt buckles were the next item to be undone, and pants slid off of their lower halves like wrappers off of chocolate bars. Sally’s wetness and Andrew’s hardness were evident in their underwear like a raging fire in a nighttime forest.
Mouths still locked together, two swift movements were all it took to remove their remaining clothes, and Andrew’s penis couldn’t go into Sally’s wet vagina fast enough. Like a bullet train through a tunnel, it entered her sex smoothly, and the back-and-forth motion immediately started, guttural moans escaping their mouths simultaneously.
Sally liked to take charge, so after a couple of minutes of Andrew thrusting on top of her, she flipped him on his back, sitting on his throbbing erection. He loved the sight of her bouncing up and down on his cock, her breasts swinging wildly like coconuts caught in a hurricane.
It was Andrew’s turn to be back on top, and he flipped her over with such vigor that she almost fell off of the couch. The deep thrusts immediately started, and Sally could feel Andrew’s member reaching deep into her, brushing up against that spot that very few men could reach, the Everest between her legs.
They were approaching their respective climaxes. Their breathing quickened, synchronized and increasingly audible. Andrew went first. He pulled out his penis and moaned a primal moan that millennia of civilization could never take away, shooting his massive load right between Sally’s breasts. This sight was enough to push Sally over the edge, too, and she moaned, her vagina contracting violently, her body feeling like it was launching into the air.
They collapsed next to each other, breathing heavily like marathoners finishing a race. Sally smiled, having had an experience she could have never had with that deadbeat ex-husband of hers. And all because of these magical peanut butter cookies. This recipe was a keeper.
The recipe is roughly this one, plus some molasses and honey. I halved the recipe to make about two dozen cookies.
Peanut Butter Cookies
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup golden brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons molasses
1/2 tablespoon honey
1 large egg
- Preheat the oven to 350F.
- Mix the flour, baking powder, and salt together in a bowl.
- Beat the softened butter, peanut butter, and vanilla extract together until well-mixed.
- Beat in the brown sugar and white sugar until well-mixed.
- Add the molasses and honey and stir to combine.
- Add half of the dry ingredients into the mixture and stir until just mixed.
- Add the egg and stir until mixed.
- Add in the remaining dry ingredients, stirring until just mixed.
- Roll heaping tablespoons of dough into balls and arrange them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
- Flatten the dough balls with the back of the fork, forming a crosshatch design.
- Bake the cookies for about 14 minutes, or until they are golden brown.
- Cool the cookies on a cooling rack.
The dough. Creamy.
The balls of dough, flattened with a fork to make the distinctive peanut butter cookie pattern.
After 14 minutes, they’re done.
They turned out a bit dark.
The middle of the cookie was nice and chewy, but the outside was a bit too crisp for my taste. Maybe 12 minutes next time instead of 14.